Open notebook with handwritten observations, hand-cut palm and blue flower stickers, and a loose illustration of Alice in Wonderland with playing cards, resting on a background of scribbled sketches and notes.

The Hill

What does it mean to keep going, when nothing gives way?

This day’s heat is in everything — the bare earth is thirsty but
The sky makes no promises—
the eye of god, unimpeded, stares, implacable.
I bend to my task. The great stone is massive and inert
But I am strong.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
There is a reason for everything, I suppose, even
Unreason.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
the day is hot —
sweat runs down my arms, and
the rock against my shoulder is slick now.
Suddenly it slips my grasp and tumbles down
The slope. I watch it go all
the way. I return.
The sun stares, it has not moved.
I bend to my task. The great stone is massive and inert
But I am strong.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
It is at times like this that I wonder why
I am here. The sun is not moved by such
Questions. Its hard gaze does not waver —
Drinks it all in, as waves of heat
Descend.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
Not the same way, though, never
Quite the same way.
Gravity only seems inevitable —
There is a path, if only it can be found,
Out of this place, where the sun is so
Direct and unyielding.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
The stone yields, it yields to gravity, but
I will not yield — it is an eye, slick with
Angry tears, but why? I have done nothing.
I push. The stone shifts. I push again.
And it is gone, its form recedes, down and
Away. I stare. What have I done? Nothing.
Dumb animal need animates my limbs,
I run. I fall. I run again.
I run. I fall. I run again.
I run.
    I fall.
        I run again.

The sun does nothing.
I am strong.

I push. The stone shifts. I push again.


This poem pairs with The Sun, another recursive piece, and is part of an ongoing field.


Discover more from counter/field

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.


Posted

in

by

Comments

12 responses to “The Hill”

  1. Dominic Alapat Avatar

    Strong poem Stef. The repetition of phrases reflects the sense of ardour in human endeavour.

    1. Stef Avatar
      Stef

      Yes, the repetition seemed important to do as I was writing it. Sisyphus is great to write about which is no doubt why so many people have. He’s got it all: hubris, misfortune, eternal punishment, but behind it all, there’s Camus, cigarette in hand, cheering him on. At that point I imagine Sisyphus smiling. Cheers, mate!

      1. Dominic Alapat Avatar

        Cheers Stef! Keep writing your wonderful poetry!

        1. Stef Avatar
          Stef

          I’ll do my best, mate!

  2. ibarynt Avatar

    This is such a wonderful piece. Reminds me of Ecclesiastes..

    1. Stef Avatar
      Stef

      Thanks very much, I’m glad you enjoyed it! I guess I thought that a strange mythic poem needed a bold, mythic voice, so the similarity to Ecclesiastes makes sense.

      1. ibarynt Avatar

        Oooh I’m glad you didn’t find the reference to Ecclesiastes unusual…

        1. Stef Avatar
          Stef

          Not at all! That mythic, religious tone is what I was going for. Sisyphus is being punished in the afterlife, after all. Just by a different god, is all.

          1. ibarynt Avatar

            I’m starting to believe in synchronicity… it’s amazing how strangers from across oceans can have similar thoughts.

          2. Stef Avatar
            Stef

            That’s the power of the internet! I’m glad you enjoyed the poem and thanks for stopping by today!

          3. ibarynt Avatar

            My pleasure. I’m looking forward to read more from you.

          4. Stef Avatar
            Stef

            Great! I’ve got a few pieces lined up. Some heavy, some light.

Leave a Reply